Form 6~~ sigh!!!

Time flies rapidly, I have stay in form 6 for almost a year.. Until today, it's just left few months for me and my future will also depend on these few months.. sigh~~

Lower 6 gone with nothing, still fool around and keep the secondary behaviour and attitude.. But it's Okay,that's fine.. I'm still satisfy with my result,not that bad as my expected..

But when come to upper 6, my result start to drop and what I've learned before seems lost.. Things that learned, forgot when exam.. This is what makes me irritated.. But it's no point for me to blame.. Do I treat my studies seriously?? Do I ever think of my future?? Do I really know what i desire??

Yea,I have think of my future,as what everyone think of it too.. Want a bright future!! They think and will try their best to strive for it... But me, continue hibernate... haiz~~

What I desire actually??? Frankly, I Don't Know!!! Many peoples had ask me, but my answer is always the same,~ Wait for the STPM result.. Good result, no worrying.. all the courses will belongs to you. In contrast, bad result, eat SHIT!!! They might throw you to TANAM PADI!!!

Dumb thinking right?? I have try to seek for my aim before, but sorry, i really don't know what is my interest. I won't back to form 6 if i know what want as I'm study in college initially.. During that time, my mind is just think of escaping form 6, without think of my interest properly... After study for a period, i felt myself totally not interested on it and don't even know what courses do I interested in. Hence, to prevent from wasting my dad money and my own time, I decided to crawl back to the hell (form 6) with fully undesirable...haih~~

Everyone have their aims and fight for their path, but me.. fight with no direction~~DIE!!

Always just know to think of how to die in the STPM, but never put effort on it..useless!!!

Sometimes I have try but unable to solve, it makes me give up easily when dealing with difficulty.. Always keep the simple mind and never think deeply will do... Consequently, prepare to " long tiang".

Previously,I have heard from senior that they will study until cry, I thought them as weak, "aiyoyo, study only mer, why need to cry"... Until today, I face it. I'm the one who is the weakest. I know the reason why they cry eventually.. Can't even control my tears to drop out after finish one of my exam paper.. My hard work doesn't paid off.. Really think of giving up for the exam at that moment.. I'm stupid~~ duh!!!

Sometimes i really envy of my friends who just graduated from matriculation.. Now they are waiting to enter university.. Same age with us, but become our senior soon. Why I'm not the one of them.. I rather suffer in there for 9 months than suffer in form 6 for 1 and a half year, somemore it's guarantee for entering university but form 6 not.. wtf!!! Unfair la dude~~ =(

24 weeks left.. Be a Doctor or a Dog?????? answer is there~~

Don't dump me to the HUTAN become Tarzan please~~

I can start to build a grave for myself soon.. sigh~~